Director: Guerdon Trueblood
Year: 1973
Genre: Crime/Thriller

Few words can really describe how truly bizarre The Candy Snatchers is. I’m hardly shocked now-a-days but my dear lord this was one of the best experiences I’ve had. The movie is hilarious, intentionally or unintentionally I couldn’t say, but I certainly did not expect such a bizarre film. The film opens with young 16 year old Candy (Susan Sennett) who is walking home from school; she is the only cast member who isn’t clinically insane. What she doesn’t know is that she’s about to be kidnapped by three “stick it to the man!” criminals: Jessie (Tiffany Bolling), her calm, sadistic brother Alan (Brad David), and an ex-soldier Eddy (Vince Martorano). It also helps that the credits play through this introduction with “Money is the root of all happiness” playing to it. The title appears under the three of them wearing goofy glasses.

She decides it would be best to hitchhike her way close to home. The trio takes this opportunity to nap her. “Calm down, you’re just being kidnapped.” One of them tells her. Candy tries to take her blindfold off, and Alan starts toying with her, blowing in her ear and such. The gang decides to stash her, as according to Jessie’s plan in a coffin, on the top of a remote hill. The screams Candy makes are truly horrific, and the way the trio handle themselves regarding the situation is beyond comical. It makes an unsettling experience for the viewer. They bury her and as the drive away we are introduced to young mute Sean (Cristophe, that’s right, one name.) who has seen it all. But if he could only talk! His mother is calling for Sean by ringing a large cowbell. “Sean! SEAN-NEW-TON!!!” she screams, in hillbilly fasion.

Sean’s parents are more than awful. At this moment, I realize that everyone in this movie, with the exception of Candy and Sean are truly horrific people, and I have yet to meet the rest of the cast. Candy’s father, an owner of a jewelers shop, might be the worst of them all. The gang’s plan is going well so far, and they tell Candy’s father about the entire situation via telephone. He is meant to gather all the diamonds in the store in exchange for Candy. His reaction kicks off the oncoming freight train of weirdness. He doesn’t say a word, and starts looking around, asking his employees to leave one by one. We cut back and forth between Sean and his parents on route to an important dinner, and the gang celebrating their current situation. Sean notices the van, and tries to warn his father, but this only aggravates his father. Avery (Ben Piazza), Candy’s father, is home and is asking his wife if Candy came home. We find a sense of dread in the air. She doesn’t reply and he tells her that Candy has slept over at a friend’s house. He definitely has plans for something… It turns out that Avery’s wife is an alcoholic and he’s cheating on her with his secretary.

Now it’s the truly bizarre; one of the most fucked up, wickedly evil moment of this film. Sean and his parents are at his father’s boss’s house, preparing for dinner when his boss decides to play around with Sean. “Kid’s love me, I can do anything with them, anything, just watch this.” He says. “Just exactly what did you see… what? Cat gotchur tongue?” It is at this moment that he is informed by Sean’s parents that Sean doesn’t talk. “What do you mean he doesn’t talk, all kids talk.” “Not ours. He has some sort of problem.” “Problem? Ya hear that mother! Doesn’t talk, who ever heard of a kid that doesn’t talk?!” He starts to laugh maniacally. Even young Sean is so confused by his behavior. I cannot describe how utterly weird it is. It is the first real explosion of weirdness. One of many.

It turns out that Sean’s father won’t be getting that big promotion anymore because of a kid who doesn’t talk! His parents rip young Sean out of the car and send him to his room. His mother doesn’t want to see him again. A little later, she grabs Sean from his bead and starts beating him senseless. I’m telling you, everyone is fucked up in this movie.

So now Avery hasn’t shown up for the drop and the gang is getting worried, their simple perfect crime was not so simple and perfect anymore. They decide to take Candy out of the coffin and take her into the house. They feed her, and it turns out that Eddy isn’t that bad of a guy after all, he takes her to the bathroom to let her use the toilet. This is when I start to realize how much I like Candy, how well Susan Sennett plays her and how frightening her cries are. Candy is certain she will be killed, where as Eddy is promising her safety. Once Candy falls asleep, the gang starts revising their plan. Eddy clearly states how he does not, and will not work for the man, not him, uh-uh! They decide the best course of action would be to cut her ear and send it in a box. They record Candy screaming for her fathers help, her screams are both horrifying and hilarious at the same time. One cannot help but laugh at the inaudible screams, but a true sense of death and despair is easily noticeable. They decide that there are easier ways of getting an ear; they head to the morgue where we meet good ol’ Charlie, a jivin’ motherfucka who sewed a finger at 10:00 for $35. But it’s inside the morgue that I got a weird feeling that he’s into necrophilia, the way he caresses the dead bodies screams passion.


From here the trio’s plans starts to go a-wire. They start ad-libbing the fate of Candy and their plan. We find out Avery’s true intentions and the fact that he’s Candy’s Stepfather. We also see the trio start to turn on each other while trying to stay on course. Sean tries to save Candy by using a doll that screams “Police! Open up!” but reaches a delicatessen instead; another bizarre scene. The trio shares a comical connection which makes their moments on screen believable. The scenes where the gang meet Candy’s mother are very amusing. Another shed on the terrible parenting Sean receives is evident when his mother tries to feed him downers to put him to sleep. There is another rape scene that is truly the most unsettling moment of this film. The finale is so great that I mustn’t tell you.

The acting is great, considering all things in play. Enough cannot be said about Susan Sennett’s portrayal of Candy. Without her sweet, innocent and cute display, the film would be nothing. Same can be said for everyone else. If they weren’t so over the top I wouldn’t be interested in Candy’s fate. Ben Piazza plays the heartless stepfather with obscurity perfectly. The film screams 70’s with every vibrant heartbeat. The fact that Candy and Sean are the only two sane people of the film helps the audience to connect with them, allowing us to feel more frightened when it comes to her fate. Cristophe (Sean) is able to communicate fluently without sounds or words, but rather by facial expressions. It’s remarkable how well he does it as well.


The Candy Snatchers contains some great twists and turns, and a lively script that is as funny as it is brutal and malicious. With an overlapping element of bizarre characters this movie represents how money may in fact be the root of all happiness, but obtaining the money certainly is not. Some consider this movie pale in comparison to Last House on the Left, but I disagree; The Candy Snatchers involves some pretty horrific and menacing themes and situations. And by pretty, I mean Candy. Trueblood finishes the film with a brilliant overhead crane shot that would put Wes Craven to shame. The film never ceases to stop entertaining, or at the very least keep you interested. With twists and turns from every direction and a hilarious and discerning as well as brutal and sad ending finishes the film off with a bang. Certainly rape, murder, backstabbing, kidnapping and the rest of the horrors this film has to offer isn’t funny, but one cannot help but laugh with its groovy soundtrack and funny dialogue. It’s hard to take seriously, but very easy to enjoy. There are so many things going on in this movie that it warrants more than one viewing.

So, so, so, so, so good.